Posting this an hour early, because I'm exhausted, won't make it to midnight and have lots to do tomorrow in preparation for this weekend. Here it is... the birthday post. Enjoy ;)
Dear Wesley and Andrew,
Happy Birthday, boys!
Wow, can you even believe it? This past year has been an amazing journey, almost impossible to wrap up into one little letter, or perhaps just impossible to remember the majority of it! Today we celebrate your first birthday, and with that, I'm remembering a year filled with many other firsts:
Our first first, ...heartbreak. (Might as well get this one out of the way). When my babies were not born healthy, I could have died. No mom wants to hear a neonatologist say "You're babies are very sick". No mom wants to have a neonatologist at her bedside at 6am telling her that one of her babies had a seizure. No mom wants to see other new moms wheeling their babies around when she can't even hold hers yet. No mom wants to leave the hospital without her newborn babies, but that's just what I had to do. It was in your best interest, and luckily, I have two happy and healthy children as a result of the amazing nurses and doctors in the Sister's Hospital NICU.
You were both born with an extremely rare blood condition. So rare that the doctors couldn't figure it out right away because they had never seen it, and they had to consult with other professionals as to how to make you better. Your little bodies were attacking themselves because Mommy's blood was that .00000000001 freakish percent that had a funny antigen in it, whatever an antigen is; one that no medicine could have helped (even thought I took the medicine when it was offered, well before you were born.) Enough of that, onto the happy memories!
Next up, the first time we got to hold you. I was never happier in my life. You both fit into our arms like perfect little puzzle pieces that had been missing since the day you were born. We were complete.
Your first time back together again at home. I'm singing "Reunited and It Feels So Good" as I type.
There was the first nap on my chest. I wish you still fell asleep in my arms as easily as you did back then. Your daddy and I loved this, because we got to hold you close to our hearts and we got to nap with you ;)
First baths, first food, first smiles (even if it was just gas ;).
Your first coos, your first flip, your first entire night of sleep at 12 weeks. (That's right! Both of you were sleeping through the night at 12 weeks!)
First tooth, first words, first time sitting, crawling, standing up.
Of all your firsts, your first steps are when I really started to feel exhausted. You are both busy busy busy boys and mommy needs a nap most days more than you do!
You were so fragile and tiny when you were born. From the first moment I saw you in the NICU with all those tubes, wires and needles, I don't know what it was, but I told your daddy that you'd always have a special place in my heart. You still fit that mold perfectly. You are our gentle little meatball. You are softspoken and silly and have such a happy, lovable personality. Your face is full of so much expression. You know when you need a hug and you know when we do, too.
You love wheels, tupperware lids and chewing on book bindings.
I love your toothy smile, your laugh, your blueberry eyes, your bright red curls and your hugs.
You are my Mr. Dubs. Happy first Birthday, little man! Daddy and I love you so very much and look forward to all the adventures we will have together!
From the very beginning, I knew you were very special. I called you my 'high-maintenece baby' but that was only because you seemed to be happier in my arms than anywhere else. Little did I know that this little personality of yours would develop into such a charismatic performer. You still prefer to have us around at all times, but mostly for entertainment purposes. You are sneaky, silly and truly enjoy making us laugh along with you. Your eyes light up constantly and you melt our hearts.
I love hearing you say "Mama", even when it's at 5am.
I even love your fake tears.
You love your books and flip through them often, right side up or upsidedown.
You love to dance. You love to laugh.
You're a little ham.
We love to watch you, Mr. Mandrew. You're our tiny Buddy Boss (don't even ask where that nickname came from.) I can't imagine life without you for a second. We have so much to show you, teach you, share with you and learn from you. Happy first Birthday, little Drewman. We love you very much!